I’ve read and listened to a fair few self-help books in my time, and for the most part they were a complete waste of time. Most dwelt on the fact that I was there because of a lack of something; I’m not this, or I haven’t achieved that. Yet, few of these book actually gave helpful advice, and those that did (and I’m only looking at a few people here), gave very similar advice.
That advice boils down to just be. Be the person you want to be. Don’t focus on what you think you don’t have (confidence or patience or some other personality defect). Very few people have bundles of confidence day in, day out. We all have our ups and downs. We all get frazzled and ratty with other people. A lot of us get depressed.
If you do feel the need to go down the self-help route, for whatever reason, I’d strongly recommend Paul McKenna’s material – primarily, because his techniques (mostly based on NLP and CBT) revolve around visualising the person you want to be and stepping into that person. This is a powerful tool. Learn it and use it.